Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Who invented nail clippers on a key chain? Who are you? Show yourself! You, friend, are a menace to society.

Hear ye Hear ye.
Public Service Announcement. Everyone listen up!

There is absolutely no reason why anyone should be clipping their nails in public, therefore there is no reason why your keys and your nail clippers should be attached. Period. You hear me boys? NO. PERIOD.

Also, there is not a woman on earth that disagrees with me. So think about that next time you're checking out some pretty young thing waiting for the train while you're dropping your nail clippings all over the platform. What was that you said? She didn't look up from her book so she doesn't know its you? Oh yes she does. She can hear it. That Sound. Click. Click. Click. And she knows its you. We always know. That girl will never sleep with you. Ever.

The subway is sad and gross enough. Stop making it worse please. Thanks.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Velvet Rope

Golden Rule.  Do unto others.  
I try.  I really do.

And so I made a choice, and I walked backwards through two years of dank, smelly tunnels and opened the door again.  And I forgave.

And it blew up in my face.

There's a lot of fear and pain down there.  And it bred a desperate, violent sort of recklessness.  But I get it.  And it never scared me. Still doesn't.  In fact, I know how to deal with it, and there was time when I was reveled in the thought of dealing with it, well, forever, I guess.  But a light went out and I can't turn it back on.  I totally believe that I was hearing the truth.  That there was a revelation.  You get it now.  But it's too late.  So.  It kills me, but I'm done.  I have to be.  

Right words, wrong face.  That's all I could think while I was speeding up the west side highway in the back of a cab.  Right words.  Deadly accurate.  Wrong eyes.  Wrong voice.  Throw something.  Shout.  Cry.  Smoke a slow stale cigarette.  Shrug it off.