Thursday, October 9, 2008

Flack

I've been getting a lot of crap from people regarding my top 5 friends post.  Seems that it strikes a nerve for folks.  

Let me first apologize to those of you who thought we were super close besties, and have now learned that we aren't.  Sorry.  Yes, I'm a little mean.  But I tell the truth.  Doesn't mean I don't like you.  Just means you're on the B-list.  That's not a bad place to be.  It's pretty sweet actually.  We hang out, we laugh, we smile, and you don't have to deal with anything real or important.  It's like a temp job.  Oh come on...if you really stop and think about it, I bet I'm on your B-list too.  

Lots of you are very interested in defining "real friend".  It runs a pretty wide spectrum: Remembered birthdays.  The people you would call for bail if you found yourself in jail in Indiana. Those who might drop everything to weep by your bedside if you were in a coma.  And I have to say (and I'm not just tooting my own horn here) no matter the severity, when pressed to think within their own guidelines, most of these definition seekers could not come up with more than 5 names (sometimes even fewer).

Let's do my favorite thing- make an argument more complicated:

How about soul mates?  How many of those should we have?  1?  Lord I hope not.  In fact, I have an alternate proposal.  What if it has nothing to do with gooey-sugar-coated-love stuff? With the other half/hole in your soul/incomplete package crap we are all sold every time Valentine's day rolls around?  The dictionary definition of soul mate is "a person with whom one has a strong affinity".  Affinity.  Great word. Natural liking.  Feeling of kinship.  An inherent similarity between persons or things.  What if a soul mate is simply someone who gets you?  Really gets you; without judgement; without fear, and without even trying.  In that case, we definitely have more than one soul mate out there.  How comforting are those odds?  

So.  There's my definition.  Don't judge me when I screw up, and don't fear me when I'm furious. Believe that through all the bullshit, I'll come out right on the other side.  Always tell me the truth and always be ready to hear the truth.  Care outside of yourself .  Make my world a better place just by existing and being the badass friend you were born to be.  I'll do the same for you.  I will love you fiercely and without end, no matter what you do.  

I promise.   I have to.  You're my soul mate.  

Friday, October 3, 2008

Actuador


A man named M. Gary Neuman has written a book about infidelity.  He researched.  He interviewed hundreds of men.  And, in brief, here's what he found out:
  • 1 in 2.7 married men have cheated, or will cheat.
  • 92% of men said it wasn't primarily about sex.  Most sighted insecurity and a need to feel "more appreciated"
  • 88% of men said that the other woman was not necessarily better looking or in better shape than their wives, but rather that the attraction was simply to something "different".
  • Only 7% of men confessed to cheating without being asked, and 48% deny it until they are confronted with irrefutable evidence
Ladies.  Listen closely:

1 in 2.7.  

Think about that.  Do the math.  Think about all the times you smugly looked down your nose at your single friends and wished we could just settle down and be as blissfully happy as you are.  

Then give me a call.  Drinks are on me.